does anyone else do this?

So, you know how you can't walk past the refrigerator without opening it to see if there's anything good in there? In fact, sometimes you'll get up off the couch and actually walk out of the room you're currently in and GO INTO the kitchen to check the fridge - AND you do this even though you did it a few minutes ago, so you KNOW there's nothing good in there? In fact there may even have been nothing AT ALL in there the last time you checked which was like, 20 minutes ago? But you still open it and look inside. AND you sort of can't remember why you opened it, cause it's kind of like your brain is temporarily checked out each time, maybe because your want for there to be something good in the fridge is greater than the intelligence that observes the world and the contents of the fridge and the fact that there aren't any - or any worth eating?
Hmmm...
No - It's that the desire for something good to eat is at the forefront of your mind, and the information gathered about reality is, well, what's it gonna do? The desire for food keeps butting in front of it!
Anyway, that's kind of what I do with email. Yes I'm ashamed. It's ridiculous. This is why: Because I don't email anyone! Yet I check my email everyday, sometimes more than once a day (sometimes more than that - but also, sometimes not every day) to see if anyone special has sent me an email. And even though I do get mail, and some of it is stuff that applies to me, I realized recently that's not it. Cause I'm always disappointed for some odd reason. How crazy is that? Like the old woman on "Donnie Darko". Only SHE was seeing the future (or was it the past - it all gets so convoluted) so she only APPEARED to be crazy to everyone who didn't know that time was bent for her. Maybe I'm seeing the future. Good grief. Well, at least I KNOW it's crazy. Hallelujah!! Anyway, I'm going to try to stop being obsessive-compulsive-email-checking-girl. Or at least find someone to send a message to so that there is an actual reason for the disappointment. Sheesh!