eavesdropping - or - why gmail makes me laugh

I love gmail because it puts links like this at the side of the page when I am reading the email with the posts in it about the "opportunity knocks hard" blog. Gmail is thinking...
"Hmmm... skin is showing; mask, peel; a seedy underbelly full of tumors - here - check this out."
Cheeky little gmail.


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This also reminds me why one should never respond to a conversation one is eavesdropping on. Which I have done before, to a bit of a disaster.
But, I love eavesdropping too, gmail - that's why we're friends.

opportunity knocks hard

Man, you sure can learn a lot about a person by pissing them off.
Of course there's no GUARANTEE that you will learn anything, BUT if you can manage to get your own ego out of your own way - there's a golden opportunity there. Of course there's the chance that the newfound info will be nigh useless, but it's sure to be fascinating if you can manage to see it.

Songs I love right now

I can't stop listening to these songs! - Even though I have truly been listening to them SO MUCH it's now making me sick, and I'm probably going to die from it. (remember when you were a little kid and you kept eating carrots all the time, and your mom said, "you're going to turn into a carrot!") Well, I'm gonna turn into a... these songs, I guess. That will be weird. But maybe also very cool...
But I love them dang it!


Don't Panic - Coldplay
Politik - Coldplay
Evil - Interpol
Black Dirt - Sea Wolf
The Promise - Sea Wolf
You're a Wolf - Sea Wolf
The Cold, The Dark, & The Silence - Sea Wolf
Silver Lining - Rilo Kiley
Accidental Deth - Rilo Kiley
Dreamworld - Rilo Kiley
Breakin' Up - Rilo Kiley
It's a Hit - Rilo Kiley
Give a Little Love - Rilo Kiley
The Angels Hung Around - Rilo Kiley
Paint's Peeling - Rilo Kiley
Capturing Moods - Rilo Kiley
Open Your Eyes - Snow Patrol
Run - Snow Patrol
Chocolate - Snow Patrol
Fortress - Pinback
Twentysomething - Kate Laurel Smith
Young Folks - Peter Bjorn and John
I Know I Know I Know - Tegan and Sara
It's In Our Hands -Bjork
An End Has a Start - Editors
Hurricane - Athlete
Someone to Love - Fountains of Wayne
Smile Like You Mean It - The Killers
The Sound of Settling - Death Cab For Cutie
Title and Registration - Death Cab For Cutie
Nevermind the Phonecalls - Earlimart
World Spins Madly On - The Weepies
Early Winter - Gwen Stefani
Can't Help But Wait - Trey Songz

I know those last two are kind of random compared to the rest, but that's my style. (85% alternative, 2% pop/R&B)

does anyone else do this?

So, you know how you can't walk past the refrigerator without opening it to see if there's anything good in there? In fact, sometimes you'll get up off the couch and actually walk out of the room you're currently in and GO INTO the kitchen to check the fridge - AND you do this even though you did it a few minutes ago, so you KNOW there's nothing good in there? In fact there may even have been nothing AT ALL in there the last time you checked which was like, 20 minutes ago? But you still open it and look inside. AND you sort of can't remember why you opened it, cause it's kind of like your brain is temporarily checked out each time, maybe because your want for there to be something good in the fridge is greater than the intelligence that observes the world and the contents of the fridge and the fact that there aren't any - or any worth eating?
Hmmm...
No - It's that the desire for something good to eat is at the forefront of your mind, and the information gathered about reality is, well, what's it gonna do? The desire for food keeps butting in front of it!
Anyway, that's kind of what I do with email. Yes I'm ashamed. It's ridiculous. This is why: Because I don't email anyone! Yet I check my email everyday, sometimes more than once a day (sometimes more than that - but also, sometimes not every day) to see if anyone special has sent me an email. And even though I do get mail, and some of it is stuff that applies to me, I realized recently that's not it. Cause I'm always disappointed for some odd reason. How crazy is that? Like the old woman on "Donnie Darko". Only SHE was seeing the future (or was it the past - it all gets so convoluted) so she only APPEARED to be crazy to everyone who didn't know that time was bent for her. Maybe I'm seeing the future. Good grief. Well, at least I KNOW it's crazy. Hallelujah!! Anyway, I'm going to try to stop being obsessive-compulsive-email-checking-girl. Or at least find someone to send a message to so that there is an actual reason for the disappointment. Sheesh!

How...

... do people write short blogs?

I don't know.

Perhaps like this.

Orange Crush

Why do we like people that we don't even know? Because they're attractive to us. Why are they attractive to us? Because their features are assembled in a particular way? Why are only some people attracted to some people, and not others attracted to them and them attracted to others?
It's always been a vibration with me. Seriously. Plain old good-looking is just nice to look at, not crush-warranting. There's just something about them when they're in my energy field. Sometimes it doesn't happen 'til they're within arms distance, and sometimes it's just the same room. Sometimes it's a conversation - maybe meaningful, maybe not. There are some people I have been very strongly attracted to, that, if I had seen a picture of them ahead of time, I wouldn't have thought I would be attracted to them.
I have a HUGE crush on someone right now, and I have no real reason - I don't know him really at all. Well, not NO reason. He's very talented and handsome, and there is certain evidence of a favorable degree of intelligence and sense of humor, and maybe adorably shy. Or scared of me. It's hard to tell. I've only said one sentence to him. It's sad really. There's just SOMETHING.
?
AND why is there sometimes something there for one person and not another? It doesn't make sense when it's so magnetic! Are we attracted to THOSE people to reinforce our insecurities? I think yes, but I also think that's not the only reason.
Also, I'm a weirdo, because I know other people have a crush on this person, so I tell myself that it's not a real attraction, just that they're attractive. Why am I so weird? That's definitely a strange thing to think. Hopefully, someday I find someone who thinks my craziness is adorable. As opposed to disturbing.
So anyway,
I am a hypocrite. (but isn't everybody?) There is a person I have a massive crush on, but I am too chicken to do anything about it. He doesn't live by me though, (LA) so that's a good excuse right? I did have a few chances to talk to him, but I balked in the most pathetic way. The last time I was so nervous, I felt like I was about to cry, so I thought it would be better if that DIDN'T happen, and opted out of talking to him.
So I just wanted to tell you that so you would know what a hypocrite I am. (It only seems fair) Thought you might appreciate it. After all the arguing that you should definitely tell the person who you like, that you like them, I just can't do it.

Maybe it's because I don't know him, so I don't think it's fair for me to like him yet. The only way I can think of to get to know him is on myspace, and I kind of think that's lame. But I don't know what else to do without stalking. I will tell him someday, I think.
Also, I have a superstition about publishing blogs about people you have a crush on. It seems like it would be bad karma or something, and that it will mean that it will never work out. But I think I need help. Or maybe if I say it enough I will get used to the idea, and then finally talk to him. Or I will talk about it too much and it will kill it. Which would be sad. Or helpful. I don't know.
Oh geez.